I didn't mean to
by Kaiyo No Hime
Summary: Heero didn't mean to, and can only try to apologize to Duo. Tissue Warning, Character Death.


**I Didn't Mean To** Warnings: 1x2 couple(no yaoi scene's) One or two swear words Seriously sad work 

Please don't sue me, all I have is a broken wristwatch and a crazy cat!!!!! And if you're going to post this story somewhere, please tell me where first!!! 

It's my fault he ran away that night. It's me who made him go crying into the rain, sobbing like a heart broken child. It's me who called him the names, and it's me who is to blame for all of this. It is me who is to blame for why little Kyla is sobbing in her Uncle Quatre's arms. It is me to blame for why he is lying in a hospital bed, motionless. 

I didn't mean to hit him, I really didn't. I didn't mean to loose my temper, and scream at him. It wasn't his fault that I couldn't take the joke. I didn't mean to make him so sad. I didn't mean to make Kyla so sad. It's all my fault, I hope he knows that. I hope he blames me. I hope that him and little Kyla blame me. 

It been a long day at work, and I had come home with a sour mood....... 

~~~Flashback~~~

"Papa!!!!" Kyla screeched, running to me the instant I had the door open, hiding behind my legs, peeking out from behind the blue jeans. I sighed. I was cold and wet because of the heavy rain storm outside, and wasn't in the mood to protect the little red haired child from whatever game Duo was playing with her. 

"Kyla, don't be so loud!" I snapped, walking into the house briskly, leaving her standing in the entrance hall with large pouty emerald puppy dog eyes. 

"But Papa!!!" she wailed, dashing after me as I hung up my soaked blue jacket, "Daddy's going to get me!!! You can't let Daddy get me, he'll tag me it!!!" Kyla shouted, screaming with a giggle fed fear as Duo popped out in front of us, a large grin painted across his face. 

"Gotcha!!!" Duo laughed, picking up Kyla and swinging her into the air, her red pig tails flying in my face. 

"No fair, Papa didn't protect me!!!" Kyla laughed as she straightened out her blue sapphire jumper once Duo set her back down on the cream carpet. 

"He didn't, did he? Now that wasn't very fair of him, was it?" Duo giggled, looking down at Kyla with a grin. 

Any other night I would have easily dealt with being double teamed by both Duo and Kyla. I would have gladly joined in their game of team up and tickle attack. But not that night. I was cold, wet, sour, hungry, and felt the beginning's of a cold coming on. I didn't want to play any little child games, all I wanted was to eat a nice, hot dinner, and watch the news. Nothing more. 

But Duo and Kyla would have nothing of my attempted shrug off's. Actually, it seemed to encourage them more, like wolves after the hunt. I was turning into better and better game with each attempt to make them cease and desist. 

"No He-Chan, you can't give up that easily! You wouldn't want to be less than perfect, would you?" Duo joked, poking me in the side as Kyla attacked my shoe. I shrugged Duo off with a grunt, pausing to pull off my shoes. 

"Papa!!! You're being no fun!!!" Kyla whined, jumping to grab my hand. I sighed, and glared down at her. 

"Shouldn't you be studying your Japanese?" I asked, make it very obvious that she was to go and study. Kyla sighed guiltily and nodded, scuffling to her room in a dejected manner. 

"Heero, what you do that for!? She's been waiting all day for you to come home, and then you go and send her to her room!" Duo asked in a exasperated tone. I grunted, sitting on the plain navy couch, flipping the television to the news. 

"What's for dinner?" I asked nonchalantly as Duo snuggled into the cushion's next to me. The news was mediocre at best. The mysterious Triton Bloom had written another great war novel, the Winner Corporation was expected to meet fourth trimester expectations, Lowe Security System's stock was up eight points. 

"I was going to order a pizza. Pepperoni with olives and mushrooms sound all right to you?" Duo asked, reaching out for the black cordless phone sitting on the glass coffee table. I glared at him. 

"We had pizza last night, and Chinese to go the night before, and take out Mexican before that! Can't you cook something for once!?" I snapped, slamming his hand and phone back down on the table, gritting my teeth as I heard the glass crack. 

"Damn it Heero, that hurt!!" Duo yelped, nursing his hand as I removed mine. My glare was still on him, angry cobalt eyes boring into hurt and confused violet pools. 

"Answer me!" I shouted, making a move to slap him. Duo fell back into the pillows of the couch, preparing for the pain. 

Duo whimpered like a slaughtered puppy as my hand smashed into his face. His eyes watered, made he made no move, save to stare up at me with a hurtful expression, begging why with his eyes. I could only stare at my hand in horror as I realized what I had done. I had hit, smacked, one of the people I held most dear to my heart. I had hurt my precious Duo. 

"Duo, I didn't mean to!!! I lost my temper, I'm so sorry, you can have pizza if you want, anything, I'm so sorry, I'm so very, very sorry...." I blathered, tears streaking down my face as I tried to reach out to Duo. 

But Duo would have none of it. It was like I was his new found enemy. I could do no good, only harm. He wouldn't let me near him, screaming at me as I tried to console himself and myself. 

"No you're not!!!! Get away from me Heero, just get away!!! Don't ever come near me again!!!!" Duo yelled, coming close to punching me as I still tried to hug him. 

"Duo, you must believe me!!" I begged, "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry!!!" I sobbed, reaching out to him with open arms. He smacked the hands away with a new found rage. 

"Just get away from me!!!" Duo screamed, backing toward the front door, still in his black socks. 

During all the shouting, Kyla must have become worried, and come to see why her Papa and Daddy were fighting. The sight that had greeted the small child's eyes must have been horrific, because she added the distinct cry of little daughter wailing to Duo's screaming and my apologizing. We must have sounded like a summoning of banshee's to every house in the country, if they could hear us over the heavy rain. 

"Duo please, it was all my fault!!!" I shouted, trying to approach him, walking by Kyla without a glance. 

"You can't even stand your own daughter!!! How am I supposed to believe you!!??" Duo screamed, turning and fleeing into the rain storm. No jacket, now shoes. Only his priest's outfit. Without a second glance, I dashed after him, afraid that he might come to harm, afraid that it would be my fault. 

But it was my fault. All Duo was wearing was black. The rain was too heavy, the night too thick, the light too heavy. There was no way the driver could have seen Duo until he was smashed against the window. That's where I found him, moments later, lying on the side of the road, the car driver sobbing that she hadn't seen him, she couldn't stop in time. 

I ignored her, concentrating on my own precious angel, the rain masking my tears. Blood was flowing freely from the deep wounds in his head and chest, and, no matter how hard I pressed on them, they wouldn't stop. They wouldn't stop bleeding, they just wouldn't stop, there was so much red, dying my green T-shirt red, so much blood........ 

~~~End Flashback~~~

"Mr. Lowe?" the doctor approached me as I sat in the chair, staring at my hands. They were still red. The blood wouldn't wash away. 

"Yes?" I whispered, looking up at him, my face pale, eyes bloodshot. 

"He's awake, he wants to see you." the doctor said softly, looking at the little girl as well with sad silver washed eyes. 

"Will he be all right?" I asked, standing up with great difficulty, my legs had turned to limp spaghetti noodle's during the long night hours. 

"......... No. The damage is too severe. It's a miracle that he's even awake at all." the doctor sighed under his breath, leading me into Duo's room. 

"Hey." Duo gasped, his chest pumping like bellows, "Where's Kyla?" he asked, his eyes a misty purple. He was already halfway gone. 

"Right here." Quatre answered, setting the sobbing child down at the edge of Duo's bed, next to me. I put an arm around her shoulder. 

"I'll be outside if you need me." Quatre whispered silently into my ear. I nodded my thanks, and he closed the door softly as he left. 

"Duo, I'm so sorry, it's all my fault...." I began, tears trailing down my face once more. Duo smiled weakly back, shaking his head remotely, wincing with pain. I clenched his hand as another sob built in my chest. 

"No, it's not your fault, it's not anyone's fault. It was just fate, ne?" Duo smiled, glancing at Kyla. 

"You've got to take care of your Papa for me, okay?" Duo asked, smiling reassuringly as she nodded, "and don't marry any guy too sleazy, okay?" Duo tried to laugh, his chest refusing to let him spit out the once harmonic sound. 

"Boys are icky!!!" Kyla hiccuped, sticking out her tongue. 

"You think that now, wait until your cousin Sean grows up..." Duo's voice trailed off as he broke into another fit of coughing. 

"Duo, you need to get some rest." I whispered, moving to pick Kyla up and leave. Duo shook his head with a weak smile and begging eyes. 

"I love you Heero....." Duo sighed, using the last of his strength to whisper the soft words. 

"I love you to Duo, now and forever." I smiled, leaning over for my lips to brush his one last time. 

The fire extinguished from his eyes that night, leaving me alone in the world, with no fire left to battle the lonely cold. My Duo left that night, and it was all my fault...... 

Owari***The End 

AN: So, how was it? Was it some great, beautiful piece of gibberish? Was it a nauseatingly sappy story? Did you Love it? Hate it? Please tell me!!!!! Read and Review!!!!! 

I would also like to dedicate this story to those in Ernulf, Germany. I can only ask why, and pray that it never happens again. 


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